Glenn’s birthday was Friday and I’m a bad wife: I did nothing.
Here’s the interesting thing though: I’m pretty sure I am the one that thinks this makes me a bad wife; Glenn evidently does not. I thought we should do something …not usual. Nothing giant but something. A weekend in Ashland. A day in the gorge. A trip to the coast. A visit to the Japanese Garden. Dinner and a movie. Something. I also thought that since it was Glenn‘s birthday, Glenn should get to pick. But he didn’t. So it came down to Friday after work and we still had no plan. I’d planned nothing at home since I thought we were doing something. But what Glenn wanted was just quiet at home. So I scrambled and made a completely average week-night meal that honestly wasn’t even as good as Thursday night’s dinner. I made no cake. I gave no gift. What I did, I am ashamed to admit, was get irritated. Irrationally. And as I was trying to figure it out I realized it was because I felt guilty that I hadn’t created an occasion.
So I’ve been thinking about it and wondering why I reacted that not-what-I-hope-for way. And here it is: I have expectations–for my husband, for myself, for us together. We get a little lax about traditions around our house being two adults (now three) and no kids. But I miss traditions. I envy them in others. I wish for them in our life. And occasions point out their absence. They create in me a sense of wistfulness, a lack of contentedness.
What to do with that? I want this to drive me to more purposeful living, more thoughtful celebration, more intentional action. This will require me to plan ahead a little better but honestly this is simple. It requires no money or no power or no fame to accomplish. It’s completely within my grasp. If I have it in my power to celebrate those I love, to mark occasions, and avoid that icky behavior of mine, why wouldn’t I do it?
Here it is then: I resolve to mark the passing of time well, to implement traditions, mark occasions, and celebrate those I love.
And I’ll tell you about it here. Wanna join me? I’d love to hear! Tell me about it in the comments.